problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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