Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
