I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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