therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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