dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
