So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
