I'm really into asian looking animals
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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