and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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