I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
