All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
