how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
