party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
