he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
