You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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