Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
