I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
