Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
