Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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