i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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