did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
