i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
