he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
being pregnant is like rehab
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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