I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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