don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
