every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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