I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
