Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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