The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
