it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
