Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
