I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
