I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
