Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
