You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
