i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He passed out mid-signature
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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