Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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