he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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