The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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