wanna go halves on a baby?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
