I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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