dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
