im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
