Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my shit smells like andre
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
