My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
did you just send me my own nude
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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