I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
