I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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