I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
