You're completely useless in the revolution.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
