do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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