Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
