Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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