he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
